BECOMING A GOTH
I saw my transformation as a gift, but others seemed to think I had contracted some dark disease. I never would have become as strong and confident as I am now without my newfound gothic-ness. My father was disgusted with me, and I had to fight an inner struggle for a long time to be free of his influence in my life. I was extremely shy and a loner throughout most of high school, but in my senior year I discovered that I no longer cared what people thought of me. I was sick of being what others wanted me to be. So I threw out every stitch of “nice” clothing I had. It was like taking a great weight off my shoulders to be honest. On a trip to Oklahoma with some friends, I made a small detour to a store in Wichita. I bought myself some Tripps and a single shirt. It was what I was wearing when I came home. My father tried to send me to my room, but I refused to go. I told him to get used to what he saw because it was what I wanted to be. He got angry and left. My mother looked me up and down and said, ” You look great. Don’t change.” This was shortly before they split. Now I have more inner strength and power than I ever could have thought possible in those day. Now, thanks to my dark disease, I am free.
